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So sorry it has been so long since I posted, real life..keeping me busy these days..home schooling Sam is my first priority and takes a good part of my day, I am so proud to say he is doing well.

He is slowly coming out of his shell, and actually greets people at the door sometimes now. Instead of hiding in his room when someone comes. He enjoys playing this game with me called Timbre, a stack of wooden blocks piled into a tower, that you remove a piece at a time hoping that it don't all fall down when it is your turn.

The Province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Department of Education released changes to be made to the special education system here in the province. There have been 75 recomendations as a result of a independant report. 70 of them have been accepted, it states that parents were involved but I have yet to find a parent in Labrador who participated.

You can read about these changes here! No apology Sammy..No apology mom's..

I put Sammy's Home schooling application in on September the 24th,2007 and was emailed back that I would here from them within a week..I have yet to receive a reply. That to me only indicates some of the same problems I have experienced along the way. Bullying and intimation being only one of the problems I have had to deal with in wanting my child to have a good chance at a good education in life. I did receive one phone call in Mid November..Hello, (in a derocatory tone.....)when is Sammy going to be in school, because I am paying a student aid and he is not there. My reply, well Sammy is in School, He is being home schooled and I am waiting for his application to be approved and if it is not approved he will not being going back to that school and I think I have good reason considering his testing results on top of what happened to him to make that decision in his best interest...oh what testing results...the ones that confict with his first two assesments and the one done last at the school that I was told that my child was normal and that his only problem was his behaviour...done by *****. The one as a parent that was never reviewed by me as a parent...I was then told there is no such report...well, I seen a copy of it at the Janeway..well I never heard of such a report..I don't have a copy of it..

So, what do we have here, another missing report...just how many reports disappear..when it conterversial..really, for Sammy this is the second time..since school..I have reqested this report by email ..several times..and have yet to be sent it..Is this respect? That the Janeway has a copy of it..but not his mother..I will most likely have to request it from the Janeway in order to get a copy of my son's testing at school..the one that was considered wrong.

Good enough then and he hung up...there was no...how is Sammy doing? How are you doing with home schooling? Is there anything that you need that we can help you with? It was just a belittling experience...of power..and disrespect ...typically of the experiences I have had in dealing with the majority of staff...within the school system..

It happens because we are a poor family, if my son was the son of a doctor, teacher or social worker..it would be different....so very different..it is called poor bashing..and it happens all the time..there is book, by Jean Swanson called poor bashing the politics of exculsion..which helped me so understand...some of the obstacles I experience in life..and some of the obstacles of the poor..Labrador has a great deal of poverty, children do go hungry and we don't have the community volunteer service agencies to handle it...the hunger leads to...addiction, suicide..depression and dispear..and the way you are treated..by the very hands the government thinks are there to help you..brings you down faster then if you took a low self esteem pill.

Yet that attitude of belittling others dominates!

I have watched it happen to my own family here..since I had to leave work..in October of 2006...this is what you get after a life time of working, your reward..

I worked from the ages of 15 to 47, the last 12 years in chronic severe pain..parking in my driveway, sitting for 15 minutes while I got the mental strength to deal with the pain to get out of the car and crawl up the steps to my door..lean into the counter..and prepare my families meals..there is no such thing as respect..for having done that..

I have had to watch my own child go hungry in a world of plenty, a hurt so deep in a mothers heart..that you feel like you swallowed..a hot burning coal from hell...

this leads me to the final episode...of why I decided to take my child out of school.

Here in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador there is a great deal of poverty, a family on assistance can only afford..one cooked meal a day, on the amount given..for a family of three, that is 730 dollar a month..for everything..food,lights, phone, etc..They have in the school system..a program to feed the children..Kids eat smart program.

Children are given a healthy lunch three days a week.

When my ei sick benifits ran out..I had tough decision to make..pay for life saving medications...that run over 500 dollars..and find money for food..I bought the most important medications..and what little food I could buy, it did not last three days..I applied for emergency assistance for help for food..and a drug card...I had nothing but flour and water in the house..my child ate fried bread for 4 days...it took that long..for me to be turned down..by a nasty client services officer...of the human resources and employment department..

Sammy refused to eat..the fried bread I had to offer him..and had to go to school..thinking he would be getting the school lunch program..I urged him to go to school..and that daddy may have managed to borrow some money to get him a treat..when he gets back..

My child looked at me..with tears in his eyes...and told me I can't go to school momma...mr...***** is sick of feeding me..

If I could take all the hurt in life that has ever come way and wrap it up in one ball..it would not equal what I felt at that moment...my heart broke..

I called a friend ..crying...and told her what Sammy said..asked her if he could come up and..have something to eat before school..and she said send him on up..and call the school lunch program..

I sent him on his way, phone the teacher...and told him..what my child said..and told him I hope you never have to see your child hungry, but that I now know..why..over 20 thousand children die every day in this world....people like you are sick of feeding them..

I then still crying called the women from the school lunch program..who told me the program is there for children like Sammy and that his bin is filled each morning..and emptied at noon and put back in the fridge..where my son was only attending school half days..his teacher felt he was not entitled to it..

This was quite a change from the teacher he had the year before..who knew the family struggle with poverty...

I struggle with feelings of guilt..for months..realizing my child was going without because I was so sick...until the province came out with a new provincial drug program..which was a life saver for many sick people here in the province...

I will never forget that day...when my child cried over that..and I will spend the rest of my life..advocating for the poor..no mother should have had to experience that after a life time of working..

I have had the good fortune to have met kinder and more caring people along this road I seem to be on..who in all honesty were the glue to my faith and my prayers that I prayed each night..and every day...and somehow the good Lord..sees us through..some pretty tough times..when we look back on it..

I lost a good online friend..Diann was her name..she had a heart of gold..the christmas before last..she started a collection..with a few other friends in one of my long time groups..that all pitched in togethor..and gave Sammy Christmas..Thank you Girls...again, my white envelop of love..will always hold dear to my heart as a reminder of goodness, purity and love..

Thank you to the people who reach out and put food on the table for the poor..recycle things for the poor..for you are the hands of Christ...living his love as angels of this earth, making a difference..one day at a time..one moment at a time...

Such is the importance of kindness..

This was a very very hard post for me to make..I said that I would someday have the courage to tell you..I feel so brave..to finally be able to do it..to let those of you who give from the heart..know..just how important you really are in this world...

To Sammy, To me..and to many other good people ...who should find themselves facing illness..that pretty well destroys a families financial life..!

To my online friends, I truly hold you dear to my heart..it is so true behind a monitor is a real person..that we touch with out ever being in the room with them..