I have not posted for such a very long time, but Im still here..but very sick..Im struggling to stay alive..I have cysts on my kidneys, every lymph in my body is swollen, I have tumors on my adrenal glands, and most likely a tumor on my pit gland, as my ctscan shows an enlarged pit gland, I have been almost 3 years, struggling to get diagnosied and treated for cushing syndrome..you can learn more about cushing syndrome here. if not for this wonderful group and a women who cared enough about others and women that support each other, I most likely would have died by now. Rural Canada, it is very hard to get diagnosied and treated for anything rare and even harder if it effects your brain..you get labeled and you cannot get past being labeled for serious much needed investigations to take place..most people die and end up being a statistic...thank you for any of you..that pray for me..and I hope one day to share some nice freebies again...thank you for prayers..please start a prayer chain for me..God has been holding my hand through this..I know..he do answer the prayers of many..

I have not disappeared of the face of the earth.

Click picture to see full size!

I have not disappeared of the face of this earth, but I will tell you that I came very close once again. June the 8th, 2009 I found myself back in icu, after having spent since October 2008 waking up looking like the first photo in this picture composition.

Passing five kidney stones, in severe pain without medicine to reduce it...and 4 months of hell, finally a ct scan was ordered, the ct scan revealed, a golf ball sized septated cyst, on my right kidney, and a ademona on my left adrenal gland which further tested positive for cushings syndrome on May the 24th, 2009.

My bodies organs are all in failure, while I await to be tranferred out of here for medical care.

I honestly believe that the reason I am still alive is because of my faith in God.

Christmas Eve, around five oclock, I looked at my two boys and told them I am sorry, momma is not going to be able to give you christmas again this year and crawled in my bed, in my bed, I cried in pain and prayed to God, please take my life right here right now..or help my doctors find out what is wrong with me. My prayers were answered January the 7th, 2009.

But by the grace of God go I.

I have been undiagnoised with this dreadful illness..for 33 years, and worst is...there was testing done in my mid 20s when I was without my periods for 4 years and lost the hair on my head, that indicated back then I had this disease and should be checked further for it..but it was filed away and never done.

If I ever needed friendship in my life and understanding, It is now.

This is twice I have been on deaths door since my son was born.

I so look forward to having my life back

if you would like to learn more about this aweful disease feel free to check out the place I have found that offers so much valuable information and support.

http://www.cushings-help.com/intro.htm

Thank you for your understanding and patience.

Some Scrap Soup for The Holiday Season

Thank you to scrapbrat for the lovely award of this blog has heart, you can visit her blog here. Thank you.

I humbly accept this award, from her, I am supposed to pass this award along, I cannot choose any one person to pass this on to, there are to many people in my world that are so deserving of it who do not openly express themselves as I can. In my heart, I felt the best person I could pass this award unto is someone who is no longer with us, but who had such a great influence on my heart when I first discovered him. The first book I read by him was Living, Loving and Learning.

A particular story comes to mind, from that book, a little johnny story.

Little Johnny, was in art class one day, and the teacher was showing the students how to draw a tree. She drew on the black board a trunk and colored it brown and a cloud like top which she colored green. She looked to the students and said now boys and girls, draw a tree. The children took out the crayons and got busy drawing there trees, while the teacher went up and down the isles viewing there progress, stopping and helping where she could, until she got to little Johnny, little Johnny was busy, with colors of purple, red, yellow, green swirling them over his paper. She looked and said to him, that's not a tree I asked you to draw a tree. To Johnny that was a tree with all the beautiful colors he had seen in trees in one beautiful place, on his paper, what that teacher forgot was..to tell her students to draw my tree!

Being yourself is a very difficult thing in a world that teaches us and expects us to do and be like the majority. So I would like to pass this award along to Leo Buscaglia, who is no longer with us in this world, whose lectures, books, videos are still here for us to be inspired from and to share.

My heart part of me is because of part of him, when I was looking, for things in life I was not even sure of what it was..in reading his books, listening to his lectures, that who I am now became to be, In a world where many question if speaking from our hearts is professional, I have only to think..if it was not why would the people who share from their hearts (such as the chicken soup books) make so much money doing so ..if somewhere underneath we were not all longing to hear..the realities of living, loving and learning and know that we are a doing okay.

I wish you all peace, joy, happiness, love..enough food to not be hungry, warmth from the cold and food for the soul. I will be back again with Christmas Goodies, I have been pretty sick since the 3rd of October and awaiting a cat scan to confirm what is going wrong, which may be kidney stones. The medical care system is slow..and I am still waiting and that is on a urgent consult, but I am hanging in there..even though there are days..when I feel like biting a towel, the greatest gift a person can have is there health..without it..you are almost powerless to change anything in your life and I am grateful I still have health of mind, for those not so fortunate in life to have health of mind and body..they depend on you, your heart, your kindness to ensure that those that will abuse the weak , and feeble to defend them and ensure they are cared for with dignity, I hope each of you finds someone special to care for in your life's this Christmas..
and all year long, it is only through our hands and hearts will we change this world and make it a better place for our children.

Please enjoy the video!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6741106990650052510
You can open up another page and continue browsing and making your rounds as you listen to it. My wish is that it will be ScrapSoup for your heart....love, Joanne

Just some more pictures

We had such fun making his cake together. He picked out all his own colors and did all the work to create a beautiful birthday cake.

This is our little girl, she is going on 6 years old, she is the small one of the pets and is always with me by my computer. She is so gentle and kind.

This is our big boy, has he ever grown, and is such a loving animal...he thinks he is a poodle..smiles..!

Something Special

This little sweetie is the puppy of our older husky Meikan, who sired the pups, playful as my son has named him arrived for Sammy's Birthday and has been growing like a weed right before our very eyes, My son is so in love with is new friend, he faithful trains him everyday for an hour....and playful can now sit, give both paws separately and sometimes will lay down. Sammy is very protective over him. We have had more then a few smiles..listening to Sammy being mom and dad to his new baby, hearing our parenting skills coming out in the talks he has with his pet.

This good natured little pup..is very much like his father and has a lovely disposition.

Father and son..play well together..and Sammy loves them equally with all his heart.

It was his birthday, November the 11th, and we spent the day making his birthday cake together, playing games, and having fun.

My boy is 13 now, a teenager, where do time fly..he is growing up before my eyes, taller then me now..and a real little gentlemen, he is doing well learning things and being home schooled has brought the joy back into his eyes and everyday you can see his confidence blossoming.

I will never regret the decision to home school him. I was worried at first, that I might not be able to get my little boy back to the same little boy I put in school, but I can honestly say now..that that fear is gone and that he is back and that I did pull him out of that place whereby he was so very misunderstood, just in the nic of time.

When I first took Sammy out of school, he was severely withdrawn, retreated to his room and had nothing to do with anyone, the shine was gone out of his eyes, and had absolutely no confidence in himself..he spent countless hours in his room not participating in the world around him..now it is the total opposite..its been so long since he spent time in his room, I am wondering if he needs one..smiles..he just loves being in the center hub of things around the house, he now greets people and welcomes them in..shows off his accomplishments and offers his opinions on things...He is just blossoming more and more everyday..right before my very eyes..

It was easy to focus only on him and not all the wrongs of what happened to him..and the seeing the reward for those choices of keeping focused on him..has been so rewarding.

He loves science, anything about animals, and how things work, he love to cook, and like every child..don't like the cleaning part..smiles..but he is even so much more cooperative about helping out then he was..he does what you ask now..with the usual mutterings of a normal teenager..

He was very proud of his birthday cake again this year..

when I get a chance I will post some pictures on his blog..

which I have lots of updating to do as well..

thank you for visiting, I hope to get caught up on a few more post today.

huggies, Joanne

I am a slow poke..and have been tagged 3 times

I got tagged..tagged again and tagged one more time..so time to fess up and to tell you seven random things you don't know about me..
so lets..go..tells you what a slack..I am..

I've been tagged by Tammy, Bunchie's Blog

by Kristine..http://www.digidelights.blogspot.com/

by Suzie Q ...♥"Link Love"♥...

Here's the rules.

Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird and put them on your blog.
Tag 7 people at the end of your post and leave their names as well as links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I hate blinkies, no reason why..!

2. I bite my tongue when I a deeply concentrating on something..no have not bitten it off yet...lol

3. I like dipping plain humpty dumpty chips in strawberry icecream.

4. 3 years ago I was given 5 years to live, the doctor that said that is now deceased and died one year later.

5. I have had to learn alot about forgiveness. I can't change the past but I can share and help others.

6. It took me 25 years to learn to love myself.

7. When I was still single I spent 16 days at sea, on the maiden voyage of the Northern Ranger and traveled the full labrador coast and tip of Newfoundland...and got kissed on the starboard side.


I really don't know who to tag...

Some Awesome Layouts

10 perfect little toes..how lovely this is..this wonderful layout was created by Tracy of her daughter's perfect little toes..I love the expression she used in her words..so true..you can read more about this layout on Tracys Blog..and also download a beautiful fathers day freebie as well.

Visit here blog Here

Thank you for sharing this with me Tracy and for understanding how slow I am..smiles..

This Beautiful layout if from Benita

Benita has been living in Holland for over 25 years and knows all the wonderful things about Holland I got to see and we miss..

Holland is so different from here...so we are sharing pics of where we live..

visit her lovely gallery here over at the Scrap Orchard..

Thank you so much Benita..I still have to do one more layout of our sites for you..

He is forever blowing bubbles.

Credits: Digi Delights

That's my baby..oh my I have had these pictures on computer for what seems like forever waiting for the right inspiration to come along and scrap them...

For a long time..I have never really found a place to call home on the internet...the digiscrapbooking world is just to big..to try and find a place to feel at home..

I am a women..who needs a sense of humor in her life..as I am way to serious about things..

and I have been enjoying my visits to ScrapOrchid and always read a post or two that brings a smile to my face..They have a contest going on..so you think you can design...

I found this wonderful freebie there..and right away I got inspired..and remembered these photos..sitting there just waiting..for me to do something with them..

I visited the creators blog..Digi Delights her name is Kristen..and her blog to has some very nice free things to scrap with..the quality impressed me..no jaggies..or blurry elements or papers..

and I fell in love..with the duck..too!

Thank you Kristen..for the lovely gift..my little boy looks so cute in it..

Looking at the pics..I miss the younger years..smiles..

He still loves bubbles though..and water...this past week..he has been having a blast soaking my kitchen counter and floor making water balloons to through outdoors at our broken down car..he tells me he is cleaning it for me..I don't mind a bit..at least the dog has been spared his mischeif..smiles.

Happy Scrapping..